REDONDOWRITER'S SACRED ORDINARY

A Post That is All About Me and Mine

This, by the way, is my faculty/staff ID for this school year. I rarely like photos of myself, but this one I can live with. 

Since my return from Nevada more than a week ago, I have had very little spare personal time. On Saturday last week, I did finally catch up on household duties--and Monday, glorious Monday, I was able to spend several hours on my art class projects before I took my art class. But, now I'm in the middle of the work week and have night time commitments as well. I just published several comments and thanks to all of you who have taken the time to comment, particularly because I've been a pretty poor blogging mamma. Because I use the computer so much at work, I have been loathe to even turn the darned thing on at home these past days.  

Here are a few things going on for me and mine:

• Cookie went routinely to the vet on Monday and Dr. Steve did a blood chem panel. Her liver counts have skyrocketed which signals that the Cushings is getting out of hand but the liver is greatly enlarged which might be cancer. Much as I hate to try the trilostane for the third time, we're going to start tonight in a reduced dosage. I'd long to prolong her life as long as I can, but I also want to make sure she has good life quality which she is enjoying at the moment.

• I am having hardwood installed throughout my bottom floor and this is a week of interior chaos, to say the least. My kitchen is unavailable and I'm bringing take-out food in and feeding Cookie out of the laundry room. It's beginning to look so beautiful though. This is a luxury for me, to say the least, but I keep telling myself that I can't take it with me so why don't I enjoy some of the fruits of my labor now? It's all about me! I'm just so naturally frugal. 

• My paid work at school as archivist has shifted slightly for a time as I am helping out in the Communications Department, which is where I worked for 14 of my 18 years. I love the writing and photography and when I'm doing that work, time speeds by. My archive work is piling up, however, and as archivist, I'll be playing a role in our year-long celebration of the school's 75th anniversary. My friends and sisters don't understand how much I love to work, however, when I could be vegging more. I'm not a vegger by nature and hope to work for money (and volunteering) as long as I am able. 

• My sister Betty in Washington has lung cancer surgery on Oct. 8 with chemo and radiation to follow. How I wish I were closer as she seems to go to endless consultations and tests as the treatment course nears. My sister Virginia in Nevada is ill again, too. I understand this is how the supposed "golden years" seem to go, but I feel so sad that I am not with them more often and that I can't fix them, good co-dependent that I am. And who among us doesn't project how our own aging process will (or won't) go? 

• I am thoroughly enjoying the art class I'm taking on Monday nights and my first meeting of the 36 week Education for Ministry class was a very pleasant surprise. I'm looking forward to the study year. 

• I am also beginning to lighten my personal commitments and groups I belong to. Now 72, though I am known as an Energizer Bunny for my age, I know I need to make more personal time for myself. 

• My grandson Fritz turned five on Monday and all grandkids 1 to 22 are doing great.

So, that's a synopsis of Redondowriter and Cookie. Last night all of the beaches on the California coast were closed early in case of the possible rough surf as an aftermath of yesterday's earthquake in American Samoa. I took the inland route early to work this morning and didn't see if the tide was high or the oceans rough. Have any of you Pacific Coast folks noticed rough surf today? 

Finish This Sentence: If It Weren't For-----

If it weren't for my dog Cookie, would I stay at home as much as I do? No, I probably would travel more if I didn't have Cookie, but each day I have with her, given her life span was predicted to be over several months ago, is a gift. She stayed home when with a friend who house and pet sits when I went to Nevada.

This photo of her was taken in the evening on my first day back at work on Wednesday. Because I'm helping out in another department at school right now, I have access to the "good" camera--a Canon EOS Rebel 40D with a super zoom lens. I brought the camera home to practice and who else would be a better subject to practice on? Be sure to double click so you can see her white eyelashes and her markings up close. The opposite side of her face around her eye is black with black eyelashes. Cookie goes everywhere I go inside the house and when the weather is cooler, she often rides with me in the car to errands. Right before I went to Nevada, I had to re-park my car after getting my luggage in the house and she came along for the ride. For the first time, she couldn't jump in the car by herself. I'll get her some of those pet stairs ultimately, but she did manage, with help, to get in the bathtub a few weeks ago for her bath. She used to just jump in. I have the mobile pet groomer come every few months now. 

On Monday, she sees the vet for a check-up. Dr. Steve will shake his head in amazement that she is still here and will probably say, "Whatever you are doing, keep doing it." I do cook her fresh meat and chicken to mix in with senior, all natural dog food and she takes enzymes and probiotics. She's no longer medicated for the Cushings, but she is eating well and is happy to go for short walks. Her arthritis is significant. We kind of limp along together on walks. 

I've had an especially hard time getting rid of my travel fatigue this time. I've been very busy at work and have to be in at 8 a.m. instead of my cherished 10 a.m., but that is temporary. Each night I've had things I had to do away from home and I just crash at bedtime. Tonight I began working on my two projects for my art class and actually did some laundry. Tomorrow is a free day, praise the Lord. 

Cameras Galore: Latest Canon EOS 40D

Sunset on the Colorado River

One hundred of our reunion classmates and guests took a Colorado River sunset cruise tonight from the casino area up to Davis Dam and back. It was very windy and hot but I got to see lots of things I had not seen before including a camper in the marina mooning us as we sailed by. Our guide also gave us a wonderful historical perspective of the Colorado River, its dams, and the history of the Laughlin/Bullhead City area. 

This was a wonderful reunion day all the way around. We met at 11 a.m. in one of the ballrooms and the committee had done a wonderful job decorating and preparing a silent and Chinese auction. Our buffet was fine and I was invited to sit at a table with some people that I knew which made the four hours far more comfortable for me. 

When we were young, we hung out at Bob's Big Boy restaurant, mostly in Glendale, but sometimes in Toluca Lake. I won the Bob's Big Boy centerpiece at our table--hip hip hooray. That includes a big Bob's bank which is behind the menu and the hand-made black and red miniature socks are to hang on the rear view mirror. The menu is a replica of one from the 1950s and the prices are unbelievable. 

After the river cruise, I tripped across several classmates waiting in line for one of the restaurants and they invited me to join them. When you go to these kinds of things alone, it's always nicer to eat with others--and do the heavy duty reminiscing we came to do. 

But, tomorrow I drive back to Vegas to catch my afternoon flight to L.A. 

I feel very grateful that I am in as good a health as I am. One classmate came in a wheel chair with her caregiver and several were using canes and walkers, but there they were. How many high school classes from the 1950s do you know who continue to get together once a year? 

Safe and Sound in Laughlin, Nevada

For those of you unfamiliar with the three big gambling cities of Nevada, they are Las Vegas, Reno and Laughlin.

This is the hotel I am staying in, Don Laughlin's Riverside. Laughlin is a port located on the Colorado River 94 miles south of Las Vegas. Directly across the river from Laughlin is Bullhead City. Laughlin's name comes from Don Laughlin who bought the southern tip of Nevada in 1964 (informally called South Pointe). Laughlin operated the 101 Club in Las Vegas. He opened what would become the Riverside Resort which offered all-you-can-eat chicken dinners for 98 cents, 12 slot machines and two live gaming tables, and 8 motel rooms—4 of which were occupied by Don Laughlin's family. Laughlin wanted to call the community "Riverside" or "Casino" but the Post Office opted for Laughlin instead. I got these facts from Wikipedia. This is what the complex looks like from the Bullhead City side. 

I drove from Las Vegas this morning and checked into the hotel about 12:45 p.m. The roads were wide open with the barren desert, mountains, Joshua trees, and a good rock golden oldies station as companions. I unpacked and did the most important thing first: set up my wifi connection with a little phone help from a nice IT guy. Yeah, I could do without it but I'd rather not.

Then I went to our hospitality room which is open from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. and chatted up those classmates and spouses who I know, reminisced, heard about people's kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. This reunion includes the classes of 1952 through 1957. 

Later I took a nap and went back to the hospitality room for a while but had missed hooking up for dinner. Later I took a hot dog and a drink back to the room, watched the Emmys for a while and then took a night time walk on what is called the Riverwalk that runs next to the Colorado. What did I see? A whole family of skunks walking down by the river. Cruised the casino for a while with my camera. Though I rarely gamble anymore, I love to make up head stories about the people who do. 

I've been working hard on affirmations about Laughlin as it is one of my least favorite places on earth, but damn, if you are a gambler it is a cheap place to stay! It was 106 degrees today and was 98 when I took my night time walk.

Now, some art journaling. My room is large, all amenities, $32 a night plus Internet. And it has been a hoot to see people I grew up with! Tomorrow is our big day. I'm glad I'm not one of my classmates, all too many, are featured on the deceased tribute boards in the hospitality room.

What It's Like to Be Golden Age or Senior Sisters

To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each other's hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time.  ~Clara Ortega

And I know this from first-hand experience. My sister Virginia, 83, and I have spent a lot of time tonight reminiscing. She and all my sisters were like surrogate mothers to me as they were 11, 13, 16 and 17. 

Virginia doesn't have much mobility these days but I did encourage her to go shopping for a few things she wanted--and it was well over 100 degrees out there. We went to three different stores and it was then I remembered how active she had been when she was young and what an incredible investment of energy it is for her to get around now. She was glad she did get out.

I often spent part of the summers with Virginia, Sal and my two nephews and a niece. My folks were older and lived in a very rural place--Sunland, CA and how I loved to come into Inglewood where she lived then. She bought my first bra for me. The first time I ate in a restaurant was with them. And they bought me roller skates and I skated endlessly on the sidewalks; there weren't any in the neighborhoods in Sunland in those days. I later went to live with them for a year after I left my second year of college. I came back to L.A. to work until my marriage. My brother-in-law gave me away at my wedding and my 11-year-old niece was my junior bridesmaid. My brother-in-law got Alzheimers, unfortunately, and they moved to Las Vegas to be closer to their eldest son who works at Nellis Air Base, but my BIL died shortly thereafter. My sis does have a lovely home now but she can't drive anymore. She has a woman she pays to take her to the places she needs to go.

My nephew Jim was born in 1961, a surprise to them. I am his godmother and a year later my own son Joe was born. Jim and I are very close and he lives with my sis now as she wouldn't be able to live alone anymore. I am also very close to my niece Rose. Tonight Jim, my sis and I went to the Olive Garden for dinner, so we definitely got her out and about during my two day stay. 

Though our shapes and sizes have changed, our skin is thin and wrinkly, and memories not so good, when we are together, it is like we are young again. I am eternally grateful I've had a lifetime being the baby sister to four other sisters. There are three of us left and we do get testy and impatient with each other sometimes, but somehow or other we get on an even keel again pretty quickly. 

Redondowriter in Las Vegas

• This morning I flew to Las Vegas to visit my sister Virginia for a few days. She is recuperating from gall bladder surgery and dealing with Parkinsons Disease, but she's holding her own.

• I park in Lot 1 these days when I fly Southwest and that's a piece of cake. Flight was perfect but getting my rental car from Thrifty was a nightmare. 40 people in line and only 1 person working, occasionally 2. It took me much longer to get the car than the whole airport experience.

• Cookie has our friend Carole caring for her and housesitting for me, so I know she's in good hands. 

• My nephew, sis and I went to dinner at a small local casino in their neighborhood. Excellent food, good prices. 

• I got an iPod Touch this week and my nephew has been showing me how it works. I'm a real novice. The Touch is exactly like an iPhone but without the phone. And he's hooked me up to his wireless. I'm a happy camper. My sis goes to bed very early and sleeps late so I'll have some ME time, too.

• Tomorrow my sis has some places she would like to go, so we'll hang out. As we all grow older, our time together, which is only a few times per year, becomes very special. 

• On Sunday morning I head for Laughlin, NV for my 54th class reunion--and more adventures in store.

• Observation, I don't spend much time on the Internet at home anymore. I'm too obsessed with art, readings, movies, my occasional social life, but I sure love traveling with my electronics. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

• Whenever I visit Las Vegas these days I remember so many wonderful memories. I drove through Las Vegas with my folks as we drove for family visits to Michigan and my first time to stay here was when several of us came to see our friend Dannie get married here. Remember that day, Dannie?

Gathering My Thoughts on a Fall Day

Those of you who know me in person or through this blog over the last 5 1/2 years know that I like to stay busy and active. I still work part-time at a K-12 school 3 days a week, I volunteer for the Palos Verdes Library and my Macintosh Users Group. I’m blessed with family living locally and have a lot of friends so I can be with people when I want to be.

But, this summer I chose to spend a lot of time being solitary partly out of laziness and partly because I just wanted to see what it felt like not to be busy all the time. I have spent a lot of time in contemplation, writing, doing art, reading and watching DVDs largely by myself. My Washington sister's diagnosis of stage 2 lung cancer and my Vegas sister's declining health have also affected me as I want to be ready to be with them if it becomes necessary.

This photo, by the way, is of the path behind my friend Orma's home in Palos Verdes; she made a beautiful painting from the photo.

For the past few weeks I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been a little more solitary than is healthy for me, but it’s so easy to be alone. I have a tendency to adapt to whoever I am with, which in actuality is both a positive and a negative. I’ve started to be annoyed when I have to drive at night, too, although my sight is not impaired. Maybe this is all part of the natural aging process. Some of my sisters became reclusive in their elder years; I don't want to let myself get started on that path.

This past week I decided to step outside my comfort zone and I signed up for a six week mixed media class on Monday nights at Summer Studios. I have never had any art instruction before and I am very excited--and fearful. I'm not a "real" artist, I keep telling myself, but I know that's bullshit.

This coming weekend is my 54^th class reunion, if you can believe that. Reunions always stir up my soul and memories. Though I went to school at Verdugo Hills High School in Tujunga, for the past several years we have met yearly and usually in Lauglin, NV, one of my most un-favorite spots in the world--but it's cheap and everyone seems to be retired (except me) with time to spare. There are no flights from L.A. directly to Laughlin for one thing. Instead of bumming a ride this year and having to depend on others, I’m flying to Vegas on Friday morning, renting a car,  and will spend a few days with my ailing sister. On Sunday I’ll drive the 90 miles to Laughlin and spend Sunday and Monday with my former classmates. As you probably know, I do not like driving alone in unfamiliar places, but I don’t want to spend four days at the reunion just so I can get a ride. Two days seems about right. This whole trip is out of my comfort zone, but in the past 24 years as a single woman, I’ve felt the fear and done whatever anyway. I WANT to go but Scotty just won't beam me up and make it easy.

Last night as I was preparing for bed, after a movie and art marathon evening, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I felt uneasy, lonely. Maybe it was because I watched “Practical Magic” immediately followed by “The Other,” the latter being pretty scary all in all. When I did my day’s summary in my journal I thought, “I am tired of being alone so much.” I asked Spirit to show me the way to being alone less, particularly on weekends.

After church this morning, which I had to drag myself to somewhat reluctantly just because it’s easier to stay home, Fr. Bob gave a great sermon on Mark 8:27-38, “Who do people say that I am?” He used the metaphor of a GPS—in this case a God Positioning System which periodically has to recalculate when wrong turns or directions are made. I was really thinking of who people say I am versus who I say I am and how long it takes me to recalculate sometimes when I realize I’ve made a wrong turn but keep going anyway . Even at 72, I can’t say with consistency who I am. Partly it’s because I am still changing.

Usually I don’t go to the coffee after services, but for some reason I went today and a lot of that had to do with a serious nudging by Spirit to be more community-oriented. I’ll admit that I have trouble with intimacy sometimes so group situations (except for work and volunteering) are sometimes difficult for me. Kevin, who runs the Education for Ministry program in our parish, and I chatted over coffee. I’ve always avoided signing up for this intense study program which is ultimately a four year program, 36 weeks at a time. But instead of my usual Inner Critic (IC) ragging on me, I clearly heard a voice say in my head “When were you the happiest in recent years?” “When I was studying new things,” was my silent interior reply. The more Kevin spoke, the more jazzed I became. Kevin showed me all the materials for the program and I spontaneously signed up. I’m not a spontaneous person by nature. It takes me a long time to commit to anyone or anything, but when I do, I’m usually loyal as hell.

So—some new things are coming up for me. I think I’ve drawn these things to me, I’m affirming them even if they make me uncomfortable, and I feel like my GPS has recalculated and I’m taking a slightly different road than I’m accustomed to. Hmmm. OK, Spirit. Is there any way you could make me more comfortable with thinking out of my solitary box?

Sophia, the Art Mannequin is Ready for Fall Equinox

I may not be ready for fall, but Sophia, the art mannequin is. I found a really cool black dress with autumn leaves on it and note the leopard skin waist and hemline. The dress was $5.99 and I got it at a half-off sale about a month ago at Salvation Army. Thrown over Sophia’s shoulders is a green shawl to warm her up on crisp evenings. Her head is wreathed in mums. My mom always had an abundance of mums in the fall in her garden and I planted a big terra cotta pot this year on the patio with rust and yellow mums in remembrance of her. 

Since I seasonally decorate the house, I’ve been slow to begin the trade-out of blue and white silk flowers for the colorful autumn flowers, but did place a fall wreath on the door last weekend.

Everybody has a favorite season and summer is mine so I reluctantly let it slip through my fingers and psyche as the leaves begin to turn and even here in Southern California, the leaves are turning to flame and canyon colors. On September 22, the first day of the autumn season is celebrated: The Autumn Equinox. In the northern hemisphere that’s when the sun crosses the equator moving southward. In the southern hemisphere the sun crosses the equator moving northward on March 20. If one looks at the change of seasons with an eye to the cycles of life, fall symbolizes the harvest, middle age and ripeness. 

The gardener trimmed all the big ficus trees in the patio on Friday, as he does each September, and he cut back the bouganvillea in the front yard—leaving a little “cave” or hiding place right up against the public, street side of the wall. If I were a kid again, I’d go get my friends Dannie and Claudia and we’d go sit in the secret place and tell tall tales. 

But—I’m a self-conscience elder who goes to the secret place in my mind more than actually doing it. Now, if any other elders want to volunteer to join me, I'd have the courage to do almost anything. Lately I have been aware of how solitary I sometimes become. 

Oh, by the way, what is your favorite season and why? That's always a good writing and discussion prompt. 

When a Child Starts Kindergarten

This was the start of most schools in the South Bay area of Los Angeles where I live and this was my grandson Henry's first day of kindergarten at his new school. 

What a special day this was for so many families, including ours. It seems like yesterday that he was born--prematurely--and I saw him only hours later in the NICU. 

His brother Fritz started his new pre-school today, too, although I didn't get to see him go there. 

The school Henry is in is a K-12 school and happens to be where I work. At the all school assembly this morning, traditions were followed. The seniors who have attended the whole 13 years (they are called WOWs) tell a memory from their own first kindergarten days and we were all laughing so much. It's amazing what kids remember. At the end of assembly each kindergartener gave a senior the class of 2010 official cap and each senior gave each little one a stuffed dolphin, the school mascot. Then they partnered to walk up to the main lawn and return to class. 

I remember so acutely the first day of kindergarten for each of my three children, including Henry's dad, of course. And I have Whitney (22) and Anthony (21) on film for each of their first days at kindergarten. My own first day so long ago is hazy in my memory.

What do you remember of your first school days?