This SoulCollage® card describes where I am on this journey called life right now. I could put it in the Council suit as one of the muses, but I'm putting it in Committee and calling it Trust. My secondary title would be "Feeling the Fear and Doing It Anyway."
I am the one who has throughout life had issues with trust and abandonment. Even at this august age of 74, with lots of experience under my belt, these issues raise their ugly heads when there is no logical reason to do so. I am the one who finds herself once again in a life transition. I am the one who knows that my professional part-time work is nearing its end for a variety of reasons and that I have to let go with confidence and trust. My work has given me purpose as I love it so and adore the people I work with. Also, I am the one who grew up in poverty and continue to maintain poverty consciousness in spite of being financially stable. I like to earn money, even if it is only a little bit. It falsely affirms me. I am the one who is single in late life and totally in charge of my present and my future--to the extent any of us can be that. My Higher Power protects me and keeps me safe, but I have a lot of problems remembering that. I'm the one who is feeling the fear of change when it comes, but stepping out, albeit very tentatively, into what tomorrow and next year will bring. I am also the one who has begun to realize I'm not 50 anymore and can no longer accomplish as vigorously all the things I used to. And, I am the one who knows that though life did not turn out as I had planned, it has actually turned out better than I ever expected. Paradox!
A question for this card? Please reveal to me the many options that will still be available to me whether I work professionally, as a volunteer--or simply being a writer, artist and computer nut. Remind me of all the ways I can continue to feel purposeful without employment and continue to have the oomph to show up every day in a meaningful way to myself and others.