When I made this SoulCollage® card several years ago, I named her Mood Indigo. But, in drawing this card today from my deck, I think I would call her Our Lady of the Passion. She is in the Council suit and she reminds me of what a Jewish woman may have looked like in Mary's time. SoulCollage always begins with what we call "I am the one who" statements and ends with a question.
I am the one who you are celebrating during this Advent Season as the mother of Jesus Christ. I was so young and though I am venerated now, then I was a first-time mom, all alone in a strange place. I'll never forget Joseph and I going across the desert into the town of Bethlehem. I am the one whose water broke even before Joseph was able to convince the inn keeper to let us use the stable. I labored for many hours alone with Joseph. He comforted me as best he could and helped when he could. The Bible makes my birth experience sound so magical and we are portrayed with angels hovering and animals braying, or maybe that's just what artists, musicians and writers have created. It's important for human beings to have a mystical story to help them get through their own peaks and valleys of life, and I accept that. Believe me, however, it was painful and I was the one who was so young. But I knew my little baby boy was very special. When you were on pilgrimage in the Holy Land three years ago, you visited the place purported to be where I gave birth to Jesus. Touristy, yes, but you were deeply moved putting your hand on the star buried in the floor. It felt hot to the touch, didn't it? I am the one who millions of pilgrims have venerated as the mother of God and I accept that I am a divine mother to you all. But, looking back, it was so painful then and I was so young. You are the one who needs to reminded that I was a fully human woman even if the story puts me on a pedestal. But I am the one who matured quickly. My little son was a handful!
A question I would ask of Our Lady of the Passion, "I am old now, my children are grown and two of my six grandchildren are grown, and sometimes I long for those years I was a mother whose kids really needed her. I knew my purpose. They are busy now with their own children and lives, as they should be, and I am busy in my own life. But can you help me list in my journal some of the blessed ways I can still feel motherly with my grown up babies and grandbabies?"
This entry is part of Rebecca's Twelve Day of Mary leading up to the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe on Dec. 12. If you have time, visit the others whose names are listed here because we all relate so differently to the divine feminine in our lives.