Our monthly SoulCollage® group met yesterday and I made three cards to my surprise. Today I'm sharing one with you I call "Mad as Hell, Tough as Nails," and it is in the Committee suit.
After we create a card, for those of you who may be unfamiliar with the process, you write "I am the one who" statements. This is what I wrote:
"I am the one who directed anger inward until I was nearly 50. When I was first diagnosed with clinical depression in my 30s it was the first time I’d heard that depression can be caused by suppressed anger. I am still slow to anger outwardly, and only rarely explode and regret my behavior. That wasn't always the case. Now I usually recognize anger rather quickly and consequently have become tough as nails when I need to be. I work out my anger in my written journal and the various types of art I create, and sometimes talking to my therapist or friends. I am the one who displays a pleasant “nice” face outwardly but inside I think I must sometimes look like a pissed off little kid Shirley Temple. My inner critic passes judgment continuously but the outer me looks like I have the most agreeable personality in the world. I am the one who is probably a phony sometimes, but I also strive to be a peacemaker and to try to look at things differently than I sometimes feel. From A Course in Miracles, “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy?” That’s a question I often ask myself when I’m tempted to get snarky or act like a know-it-all. I pick my battles carefully.