REDONDOWRITER'S SACRED ORDINARY

Some Thoughts on Relationships

I ran across this cartoon months ago and it made me laugh. It describes precisely where I am in my life in regard to a relationship. Ideally, I'd like to be in one, but---no wonder I'm not in one. 

Grandsons and Halloween

Yesterday was my Halloween immersion. In the morning I went to 5-year-old grandson Fritz's parade at his pre-school. He was a Roman. 

In the early afternoon it was 6-year-old Henry's parade and haunted house at his school, which is also the school I work at. 

My daughter-in-law Laura has photos on her Lake Dawn Blog: Life at the Foot of the Olympics of 14-month-old Arlo and 3-year old Zach as blue dinosaurs. She actually sewed the boys costumes.  

And then something awful this way comes. The little guys grow up and become obnoxious, although I'll admit I trick-or-treated with Anthony, now 21 (blonde wig), many times when he was a boy. I've known these guys as kids--and as football heroes in high school. Now they are in college and working. Ah, for the age of innocence. Those tats are going to be ugly to remove someday, but no one ever listens to me. 

I'm in a blue dinosaur mood tonight myself although I've sure been to some fun parties in the past. Now I'm a stay-at-home grandma, reading and working on art projects. Turn, turn, turn.  

Life Keeps on Keeping On

This past week, culminating in deciding it was time for me to stop hanging on to Cookie for my own benefit, has been a long one. But, I'm so glad I took off work and just hung out with her. And I'm so acutely aware and grateful for all the people who helped me at the end. 

I greatly appreciate the outpouring of comments and e-mails offering comfort. Our four-leggeds (and all our pets, for that matter) are such a huge part of our lives. I learned an awful lot from Cookie about the art of living--and of dying. I am not planning to adopt a new dog soon, but I know that I eventually will. 

I've gathered up all the doggie paraphanalia and washed it, stored it, and in some cases, destroyed it. It's the walk times and the night time that seem the emptiest. Yesterday I did my volunteer shift at the library, and though I missed church this a.m. (couldn't sleep well last night and ended up sleeping until 11 a.m.), I did go to EfM. I have also journaled a lot, recording good memories--and mischievious ones, too. This afternoon I spent a few hours in my patio garden with special time cultivating and replanting the area she chose to nestle into when she felt really sick. 

So, I'm moving on, but my life is at a crossroads. It has largely revolved around her for so long. I can take off for Ojai, for example,  without making all kinds of arrangements. It had reached the point that I dreaded leaving her even though family and friends would come to watch her when I traveled. 

Again, thanks for your support, one and all. People debate whether the cyber community is a "real one." Even though I have not met the majority of you who read her sometimes, I feel very connected to you. 

Cookie Has Gone Home to the Great Australian Outback in the Sky

Cookie went today to the great Australian outback in the heavens where all the beloved Australian breeds go. 

I brought her home from the hospital Tuesday evening to "enjoy her for a few days" as her vet, Dr. Steve Liebl suggested. 

She was very weak, not eating, but drinking water right to the end. She took her last walk last night and was too tired to get up the few stairs into the townhouse complex. My neighbor Julia carried her for me. I took off work to be with her around the clock and I have been sleeping downstairs in the TV room the past few nights because she couldn't climb the stairs to the bedrooms any more. This morning I took her out to the front grass, but another neighbor, Daniel, had to carry her back in the patio for me. 

I sat down on the sofa to write in my journal for a while, a gratitude write about many of the good times (and sometimes frustrating ones) that we had had together. And she mustered the energy to get out the dog door to the patio. But, she didn't come back in. I found her nestled in a flower bed behind some plants; she was conscious, but barely. This incident made it easier to call the vet. My other young neighbors, Jeff and Dana, were home and Jeff put her in the back of his Jeep and we took her to the Hermosa Animal Hospital. They gave us quiet time with her after they sedated her and all three of us petted and talked to her. And then the vet, not the one one I usually use, gave the final dose and just a few seconds later she was gone. Again, we stayed loving her for a while and I signed the papers for cremation.

I have not cried so much in a long time. Thank God for Jeff and Dana and all my neighbors who have kept vigil with me. I slept the rest of the afternoon and am now storing leashes, dishes, toys and washing all the blankets she soiled in the last days. The dog bed will go in the trash tomorrow and I will begin to return to my routine--minus dear Cookie who has largely been my catalyst to keep on keeping on. I don't mean this in a dire way. My schedule largely followed her schedule and her needs. 

This is a very sentimental depiction of dogs, but one that has brought me comfort from my friend Dannie. 

My Dear Sweet Cookie is Fading Away

For those of you who read here regularly, Cookie has been my beloved companion for 13 of her 14 years.  

For the past several months she has had her ups and downs and the Cushings drugs made her sicker. Mid-week last week she began refusing food and could no longer walk up the stairs to where the bedrooms are in my house. 

When I took her to the vet--again--yesterday, Dr. Steve recommended hospitalization for tests and observation. He has kept me informed since by phone. She is very anemic and he suspects cancer in the spleen and liver. He can call in a specialist for a more thorough diagnosis, but at her age, if it is what he thinks it is, she would not do well on chemo. I vacillated about the testing but opted to bring her home "to enjoy her for a few more days." 

I have just brought all my bedding downstairs and will sleep on the sofa where we can see each other for however long we have left together.

I did not want a dog 13 years ago but when I heard her story and then met her, I was instantly enchanted. The legend is that she belonged to a prostitute in the Hollywood area, and when she was arrested, she passed her off to a homeless man named Johnny. He named her Cookie for Cookies and Cream ice cream, but he didn't keep her leashed and she got hit by a car. My son's then-girlfriend had a friend who worked in the neighborhood and everyone chipped in to pay for the vet to get her fixed up. I saw her for the first time at Tiffany's apartment and we took her for a walk in a Hermosa Beach park. I took Cookie home with me that night.

Still a puppy then, she caused some major havoc in my townhouse and for a full year she went to work with me where one of the teachers kept her in his classroom with his two dogs. Back then, we could have dogs on campus. She became the mascot for the student newspaper which I advised at that time. 

We've had a long and good life together, with ups and downs, but I gaze at her sleeping as I type this and my heart is bursting with love and sorrow. 

The Cats of Mirikitani

A friend recently recommended a 2006 documentary called "The Cats of Mirikitani." I got it from Netflix and was literally mesmerized. It's the story of a Japanese-American artist living and working on the streets of New York who is befriended by filmmaker Linda Hattendorf. It won the Tribeca Film Festival in 2007 and was featured on PBS and several other stations, but I just heard about it. I can't recommend it enough.

This is a clip from YouTube:

Thoughts on When Things Pile Up

Why is it in life that things seem to pile up, even when what is piling up is really minor compared to what is really going on in the world?  

That's a little how I feel right now--like these three ceramic sculptures the elementary school kids installed a few years back. Lots of individual expressions stacked on top of each other.

All is basically well in my world but the bod has slowed down and the tasks have increased therefore taking longer to accomplish. Who's fault is that? Mine! Only mine. And, if I accomplished none of the things piling up, the world would just continue turning. I sure learned that reality long ago. The good news is that I don't feel particularly stressed; that's one of the good things about growing older, or at least in my case. I simply don't worry as much--except for family and friends who have health problems.

My new wood floors on the first floor of my townhouse are all laid and they are gorgeous. Here's a kudo for Dave Sorenson at World Class Floors in Torrance, CA, who doesn't have a website but just Google and you'll find him just fine. Countless hours went into boxing stuff up in prep and countless hours since dusting, cleaning, re-oiling furniture. I'm not totally unboxing since I hope to have the area painted soon. 

My sister Betty's lung cancer surgery is Thursday, the 8th. Please keep her in your prayers. My heart is breaking that I can't be there for the surgery and neither can her children. Her close friend who was taking her had an illness in the family and my sis had to scramble to find someone else to take her and to be surrogate family since none of us will be there. Depending on the outcome, I will go up to Washington her first week of recovery at home. 

My mixed media art class continues to fascinate me as does my EFM (Education for Ministry) class, but all of this takes tiime. How delightful it is to continue learning new things well into my older years. I hope that never ends until the end. 

Then there's meetings and events at the Palos Verdes Library--and I should be working on my Macintosh Users group newsletter. But, oh well. 

But, in spite of it all--I do manage to keep reading, one of my favorite pastimes. It's the Internet I've spent little time on lately; I haven't even been reading e-mail. Shame on me! 

In a few minutes I will drive downtown for my 27th annual St. Thomas More Red Mass, although I only do the database and the website for this group the past two years. A much more energetic and younger woman took over two years ago. She thinks she has even found someone else to do the few jobs I remain doing. Then the changing of the guard will be complete and I'm relieved. I coordinated it for 25 years and stayed involved the last few. I hate the drive home in the dark from downtown. What a senior wuss I'm becoming. 

Finish This Sentence: If It Weren't For-----

If it weren't for my dog Cookie, would I stay at home as much as I do? No, I probably would travel more if I didn't have Cookie, but each day I have with her, given her life span was predicted to be over several months ago, is a gift. She stayed home when with a friend who house and pet sits when I went to Nevada.

This photo of her was taken in the evening on my first day back at work on Wednesday. Because I'm helping out in another department at school right now, I have access to the "good" camera--a Canon EOS Rebel 40D with a super zoom lens. I brought the camera home to practice and who else would be a better subject to practice on? Be sure to double click so you can see her white eyelashes and her markings up close. The opposite side of her face around her eye is black with black eyelashes. Cookie goes everywhere I go inside the house and when the weather is cooler, she often rides with me in the car to errands. Right before I went to Nevada, I had to re-park my car after getting my luggage in the house and she came along for the ride. For the first time, she couldn't jump in the car by herself. I'll get her some of those pet stairs ultimately, but she did manage, with help, to get in the bathtub a few weeks ago for her bath. She used to just jump in. I have the mobile pet groomer come every few months now. 

On Monday, she sees the vet for a check-up. Dr. Steve will shake his head in amazement that she is still here and will probably say, "Whatever you are doing, keep doing it." I do cook her fresh meat and chicken to mix in with senior, all natural dog food and she takes enzymes and probiotics. She's no longer medicated for the Cushings, but she is eating well and is happy to go for short walks. Her arthritis is significant. We kind of limp along together on walks. 

I've had an especially hard time getting rid of my travel fatigue this time. I've been very busy at work and have to be in at 8 a.m. instead of my cherished 10 a.m., but that is temporary. Each night I've had things I had to do away from home and I just crash at bedtime. Tonight I began working on my two projects for my art class and actually did some laundry. Tomorrow is a free day, praise the Lord. 

Sunset on the Colorado River

One hundred of our reunion classmates and guests took a Colorado River sunset cruise tonight from the casino area up to Davis Dam and back. It was very windy and hot but I got to see lots of things I had not seen before including a camper in the marina mooning us as we sailed by. Our guide also gave us a wonderful historical perspective of the Colorado River, its dams, and the history of the Laughlin/Bullhead City area. 

This was a wonderful reunion day all the way around. We met at 11 a.m. in one of the ballrooms and the committee had done a wonderful job decorating and preparing a silent and Chinese auction. Our buffet was fine and I was invited to sit at a table with some people that I knew which made the four hours far more comfortable for me. 

When we were young, we hung out at Bob's Big Boy restaurant, mostly in Glendale, but sometimes in Toluca Lake. I won the Bob's Big Boy centerpiece at our table--hip hip hooray. That includes a big Bob's bank which is behind the menu and the hand-made black and red miniature socks are to hang on the rear view mirror. The menu is a replica of one from the 1950s and the prices are unbelievable. 

After the river cruise, I tripped across several classmates waiting in line for one of the restaurants and they invited me to join them. When you go to these kinds of things alone, it's always nicer to eat with others--and do the heavy duty reminiscing we came to do. 

But, tomorrow I drive back to Vegas to catch my afternoon flight to L.A. 

I feel very grateful that I am in as good a health as I am. One classmate came in a wheel chair with her caregiver and several were using canes and walkers, but there they were. How many high school classes from the 1950s do you know who continue to get together once a year? 

Safe and Sound in Laughlin, Nevada

For those of you unfamiliar with the three big gambling cities of Nevada, they are Las Vegas, Reno and Laughlin.

This is the hotel I am staying in, Don Laughlin's Riverside. Laughlin is a port located on the Colorado River 94 miles south of Las Vegas. Directly across the river from Laughlin is Bullhead City. Laughlin's name comes from Don Laughlin who bought the southern tip of Nevada in 1964 (informally called South Pointe). Laughlin operated the 101 Club in Las Vegas. He opened what would become the Riverside Resort which offered all-you-can-eat chicken dinners for 98 cents, 12 slot machines and two live gaming tables, and 8 motel rooms—4 of which were occupied by Don Laughlin's family. Laughlin wanted to call the community "Riverside" or "Casino" but the Post Office opted for Laughlin instead. I got these facts from Wikipedia. This is what the complex looks like from the Bullhead City side. 

I drove from Las Vegas this morning and checked into the hotel about 12:45 p.m. The roads were wide open with the barren desert, mountains, Joshua trees, and a good rock golden oldies station as companions. I unpacked and did the most important thing first: set up my wifi connection with a little phone help from a nice IT guy. Yeah, I could do without it but I'd rather not.

Then I went to our hospitality room which is open from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. and chatted up those classmates and spouses who I know, reminisced, heard about people's kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. This reunion includes the classes of 1952 through 1957. 

Later I took a nap and went back to the hospitality room for a while but had missed hooking up for dinner. Later I took a hot dog and a drink back to the room, watched the Emmys for a while and then took a night time walk on what is called the Riverwalk that runs next to the Colorado. What did I see? A whole family of skunks walking down by the river. Cruised the casino for a while with my camera. Though I rarely gamble anymore, I love to make up head stories about the people who do. 

I've been working hard on affirmations about Laughlin as it is one of my least favorite places on earth, but damn, if you are a gambler it is a cheap place to stay! It was 106 degrees today and was 98 when I took my night time walk.

Now, some art journaling. My room is large, all amenities, $32 a night plus Internet. And it has been a hoot to see people I grew up with! Tomorrow is our big day. I'm glad I'm not one of my classmates, all too many, are featured on the deceased tribute boards in the hospitality room.