REDONDOWRITER'S SACRED ORDINARY

SoulCollage: Death by Inquisition, Abuse, Excess and Rigidity

This is a SoulCollage card I made a few months ago and that I have not been able to name or really work with, but it haunts me. Without a title or a suit, I can't focus on what it means to me.

Two weeks ago I saw Angels and Demons and because I have this card laying out on my art table--and laying on my computer desktop--I have kept looking at it repeatedly. Angels and Demons was my favorite Dan Brown book of them all, although I had trouble with the film because of the violence. It's one thing to read it and quite another to see it. 

I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but I do go to an Epsicopal Church because I like the liturgy. I was a convert to Catholicism at 21 and in my heart of hearts, I suppose I will always be a Catholic on some level. 

Tonight I watched the PBS documentary "Soul Searching: The Journey of Thomas Merton" and I recalled so vividly how the Trappist monk Merton, another convert, had influenced me from the time he wrote "The Seven Storey Mountain." In the mid 1980s I wrote my master's thesis on "Dialogues With Thomas Merton." Merton's untimely death in 1968 has made all of us who he influenced wonder how he would have remained within the constraints of a Church that was having a hard time changing. 

This card reminds me of the inquisition, of child abuse, of clerical excess, of rigidity and morbidity. I almost want to name this corpse of a priest so I can personalize him and have a dialogue with him about all the things that trouble me about organized religion. 

And that's what SoulCollage is really all about. Our cards invite us to go beneath the surface. What would you name this card and what feelings does it evoke in you? 

Reintroduction to Anthony de Mello: Awareness

The terms of awakening or awareness are used by all the world's major religions and belief systems, and even though I "know" the importance of "staying awake", I often fall asleep for long periods of time--sometimes years. When the pupil is ready, the teacher comes--again. Today she came in the form of a spiritual directee I see occasionally and she was very excited by the writings of the late Fr. Anthony J. de Mello, S.J., particularly his book, "Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality."

In 1984, I was first introduced to de Mello by my long-time spiritual friend Sr. Brigid when she gave me a book called, "Sadhana: A Way to God, Christian Exercises in Eastern Form." Sr. B. is in a nursing home now, but I often reflect how ahead of her time she was and how many people she influenced over the years. Then a Jesuit priest friend gave me a birthday present in 1988: Anthony de Mello's "One Minute Wisdom."

I have been on a spiritual path my entire life, but the journey gets way-laid periodically and I fall asleep even though I regularly attend a church. In an effort to back-burner my own aging process, I've fallen into finding meaning in work and in volunteering, which gives me "purpose", but I'm not sure it isn't because I'm afraid I will become invisible. I also find pleasure (or distraction) in fiction, film, and the Internet, as well as family and friends. I collect books and have hundreds of really good spiritual titles, but my "study phase" seems to have passed.I have a good life. But, at least for today, I'm awake. Not bad on a beautiful warm, spring day.

When I Googled de Mello, I was surprised to learn that he died unexpectedly in 1987 of a heart attack at Fordham University as he was about to start a U.S. speaking/reteat tour--and yes, there are conspiracy theories, as there are about Thomas Merton's untimely death in 1967. Then I found out that in 1998, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, then the Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith and now Pope, issued an official notification "Concerning the Writings of Father Anthony de Mello, S.J.," warning us of the direness of his heretical teachings. Well, I'll be darned. Maybe the inquisition is alive and well in a different form. Maybe Dan Brown isn't that far off with his books.

Here's a taste of de Mello from "Awareness", pp. 150-151. I am finding that being re-introduced to his work has jolted me awake, at least for today. There's nothing new here, but a reminder that I have been awake in the past and I have hope I'll stay awake longer. What that means to me is setting intention of seeing the sacred in the ordinary more often than I have been lately.

Can one be fully human without experiencing tragedy? The only tragedy there is in the world is ignorance; all evil comes from that. The only tragedy there is in the world is unwakefulness and unawareness. From them comes fear, and from fear comes comes everything else, but death is not a tragedy at all. Dying is wonderful; it's only horrible to people who have never understood life. It's only when you're afraid of life that you fear death. It's only dead people who fear death.

One of your American authors put it so well. He said awakening is the death of your belief in injustice and tragedy. The end of the world for a caterpillar is a butterfly for the master. Death is resurrection. We're talking not about some resurrection that will happen but about one that is happening right now. If you would die to the past, if you would die to every minute, you would be the person who is fully alive, because a fully alive person is one who is full of death.

We're always dying to things. We're always shedding everything in order to be fully alive and to be resurrected at every moment. The mystics, saints, and others make great efforts to wake people up. If they don't wake up, they're always going to have these other minor ills like hunger, wars, and violence. The greatest evil is sleeping people, ignorant people.

Our Lady of Gratitude

This is a sign I picked up at Joann's a few weeks back and "Our Lady of Gratitude" has it dangling from her left hand. What, you say? Do you remember my excitement several weeks back when I managed to snag two mannequins for a song when a local vintage store was closing? It has always been my dream to make a mannequin into some kind of art piece--and now I have two to consider. This mannequin is dressed for Fall, or for the sacred season of Halloween, All Saints, All Souls Day and Thanksgiving. She is wearing real clothing I sometimes wear--a spangly red sequin top, a black and red velvet reversible cape with a hood, and a long black crepe skirt.

Of the two mannequins, this one is a little more haughty, I would say. She is in the living room right now. I have a journal group tomorrow night and I thought the folks might get a kick out of her. I also have my yearly Day of the Dead altar up now; I'll post photos of that later in the week. Upstairs, in my bedroom, the second mannequin is dressed as the Angel of Winter, also a post for a different time. I'm still working on her. I suppose these kinds of mannequins could freak some people out. My son and two little grandsons came by and looked at the Day of the Dead display and Our Lady of Gratitude and the little guys were speechless. Fortunately, I had given them my beloved Taco Bell bobble head chihuaha to take home, so they preoccupied themselves with their new toy. 

Tony, on the other hand, recognized most of the relatives and friends whose photos I display for Day of the Dead. He made some very poignant remarks. Turn, turn, turn. For every time there is a season--and for every person there is a way to express themselves. These are some of the ways I'm currently expressing myself.

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

After writing last night that I don't enjoy eating at restaurants all that much, I joined my couple friends Rick and Orma and David and Virginia at Hank's Pizza tonight. I know the importance of eating in community and I'll admit it was great having yet another night of camraderie with special people.

I never heard of Dr. Daniel G. Amen before; have you? Anyhow, Dr. Amen, a psychiatrist, had recently appeared on public television during the fund-raising period and presented a talk from his new book, "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life."

After dinner, we went to Rick and Orma's to watch Dr. Amen's presentation which they had tivo'd. It was informative, fun and the good doc had a great sense of humor. Below are excerpts from YouTube's presentation by Dr. Amen. Though I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know, he definitely reinforced the importance of brain health and I highly recommend watching his talk. It was life affirming.

Dr. Amen also has a blog with lots of practical information. Let me know what you think.