REDONDOWRITER'S SACRED ORDINARY

Haiku My Heart Friday: SoulCollage® Butterflies are Free

Metamorphosis.

Butterflies seek the sacred 

To prove they are free. 

When I made this SoulCollage® card a few weeks ago, I didn't write a haiku but when I read Rebecca's invitation to all of us to encourage us to participate in Haiku My Heart Friday, I knew this card had to speak. This woman, a replica of the divine feminine, is definitely knee-deep in holy! 

In SoulCollage®, we write "I am the one who--" statements to personify the card and place ourselves in it. I am the one who doesn't often sit still long enough for butterflies to think I'm a sweet, inanimate object, but I am reminded how awe-struck I am everytime I see a butterfly. I am the one who is free in so many ways; I just need to take the time to remember. I am the one who will take time tomorrow to sit quietly on the patio in the California sunshine and write in my journal--and I'll be delighted if even one butterfly shows up. 

SoulCollage® Card: A Shaky Trust

This SoulCollage® card describes where I am on this journey called life right now. I could put it in the Council suit as one of the muses, but I'm putting it in Committee and calling it Trust. My secondary title would be "Feeling the Fear and Doing It Anyway." 

I am the one who has throughout life had issues with trust and abandonment. Even at this august age of 74, with lots of experience under my belt, these issues raise their ugly heads when there is no logical reason to do so. I am the one who finds herself once again in a life transition. I am the one who knows that my professional part-time work is nearing its end for a variety of reasons and that I have to let go with confidence and trust. My work has given me purpose as I love it so and adore the people I work with. Also, I am the one who grew up in poverty and continue to maintain poverty consciousness in spite of being financially stable. I like to earn money, even if it is only a little bit. It falsely affirms me. I am the one who is single  in late life and totally in charge of my present and my future--to the extent any of us can be that. My Higher Power protects me and keeps me safe, but I have a lot of problems remembering that. I'm the one who is feeling the fear of change when it comes, but stepping out, albeit very tentatively, into what tomorrow and next year will bring. I am also the one who has begun to realize I'm not 50 anymore and can no longer accomplish as vigorously all the things I used to. And, I am the one who knows that though life did not turn out as I had planned, it has actually turned out better than I ever expected. Paradox!

A question for this card? Please reveal to me the many options that will still be available to me whether I work professionally, as a volunteer--or simply being a writer, artist and computer nut. Remind me of all the ways I can continue to feel purposeful without employment and continue to have the oomph to show up every day in a meaningful way to myself and others. 

Amaria SoulCollage® Card for Haiku My Heart Friday

Mi Amaria

Wisdom guide, muse, cornerstone,

Who sees so clearly.

This SoulCollage® card in the Council suit depicts my more than 30-year wisdom guide who often journeys with me when I journal. Amaria first came to me in the early 1980s as I wrote next to a creek at a favorite place of mine, La Casa de Maria in Montecito.  She told me her name and she has been with me ever since.

I have made several images of her in SoulCollage® and art, but none ever really depicted her as I saw her in my mind’s eye. By the creek she came to me in what appeared to be coarse, brown monk’s robe with her face only partially exposed. In the National Intensive Journal work of Ira Progoff,which I’ve used since the mid-1970s and that I taught for many years, there is a section called Inner Wisdom Dialogue.

That’s usually where I would turn when life was rocky and I had big decisions to make. Her divine feminine voice is strong and gentle,  low and a bit husky. She was a crucial companion when my marriage came unraveled and ended. She was a rock during both my breast cancer treatments.  She often visited when my grandkids lived with me in high school. She has never been a form of God to me, just someone to bring me strength, a pilgrim with me on the journey. By making SoulCollage® cards for her, she draws out feelings I don’t even know I’m hiding. She becomes even more tangible than when she speaks to me in the journal. She is a clarifier.

In the language of SoulCollage®, I am the one who often feels alone, a kind of orphan. I am fearful and tend to hide in the ruts of routine. I am the child-like one who needs a mystical mother, a loving sister, an affirmer of my femininity. I am the one who is often reminded by Amaria that it’s safe sometimes to be alone. She puts her steadying hand on my back and sometimes even holds my hand, ever reminding me that I just feel alone, but I never am. I am the one who is reminded by her to start each day with intention and to look for the sacred in the ordinary. “Amaria,” I say to her, “I am the one who will carve out time this weekend  to spend with you—not for comfort so much, but to say thank you for giving me such blessed support which I've largely taken for granted. You are pure gift."

A question I could pose to her? Not a question exactly, but certainly a request at another of life's intersections.  "Amaria, please remind me of past ways you’ve taught me to be comfortable and safe on my journey and show me even more ways to live with intention and gratitude at this stage in my life. I am so forgetful." 

Thanks to Rebecca at Recuerda mi Corazon for hosting all of us at Haiku my Heart Friday. This image came from Google images an was attributed to Buddy the Buddha of Missississipi, but when I asked for permission to use it, he said the universe provided it and to feel free to display it publicly. 

 

 

SoulCollage® Card: The Spring Woman

Though two rain storms are predicted for the Los Angeles area, one beginning tonight, it is beautiful today. I am looking out my office window and mist is covering the basin and hiding the mountains.  The light seems thin and blue-tinged but below me is the South Bay I love so much fully visible.

When I saw this image in a gardening magazine, I knew that a SoulCollage® card was in the works.

I call this Spring Woman and she is in the Committee suit. I am the one who creates art but never plein air, but I feel I am the woman splashing her canvas with pink nonetheless. I am the one who is the light spring breeze andI do NOT react to the pollens I am in the midst of. Breathing the sweetness of spring, I sit quietly listening to birds calling back and forth and far below me I can hear the traffic of the city. The sun warms my skin and the breeze ruffles my hair and carries the weight of years into the cloud traces. I am the one who emotionally struggles during winter, but when spring shows herself like a hussy, I begin to lighten and welcome hope and creativity.  Goodbye, winter. I am grateful for the insights winter brings, but I am the one who whoops and hollers for spring.

If I could ask this card a question, it would be, “Winter is the shadow of spring, summer and fall. Show me ways to imprint Spring Woman into all my seasons.”  

 

SoulCollage® Group Offers Me Opportunity for Gratitude and Grief

Once a month seven "old" friends gather for a day of SoulCollage® and this past Monday was our day.  We have known one another since our children were young, more than 40 years, so we have a lot of history together. The remarkable outcome each month, however, because of the process of making and sharing the cards, we know each other better than we ever did when we primarily met socially. 

During a full day session like we had, most people make a few cards each, but every now and then many more will create themselves, or so it almost seems. I made five which I think is an all-time high for me. Two of my cards were in the Community Suit. Though I personally categorize all my cards into the suits that Seena Frost's book suggests, I was surprised to find myself making two cards in that suit this time. 

On the SoulCollage® website, it says that the Community Suit reflects the sentient beings in our lives who have been important allies, mentors, guides, teachers; those who have assisted, inspired, challenged and supported us on our life’s journey. They may include family, friends, pets, teachers, famous and influential personalities and leaders, living or dead. 

This is Thomas Chan, M.D., of Cancer Care Associates in Torrance, CA. As a two-time breast cancer survivor (once in 1989 and again in 1997) he has overseen my follow-up care the past several years. Now I'm technically "dismissed" and see the nurse practitioner each year for my check-up and blood work, but I carry a lot of gratitude in my heart for Dr. Chan. 

 

 

Two weeks ago today, my friend from childhood, Dannie, passed away at the age of 74 after a lengthy illness that started with lung cancer. She, our friend Claudia, and I were dubbed "The Three Musketeers" in the second grade and we maintained our friendship over the years. I call this card "The Three Musketeers." Claudia preceded Dannie in death about eight years ago. She died on the operating table during a surgery for lung cancer that had metastasized from the breast. "I am now the lone musketeer and feel lonely on the planet without them. Ironically, at the age of 17, we all smoked our first cigarette together, but Claudia smoked until she died and Dannie quit about 20 years ago. I am having a hard time believing that these special women are gone now, but I feel like I will always carry them in my heart." 

Anne Marie Bennett, a long-time SoulCollage® facilitator who is the principal at Kaleidosoul, another site dedicated to the practice of this method, is undergoing her second bout of breast cancer and she writes very powerfully at her blog about the power creating the cards to work through illness. 

All I know is that I am grateful that I have one more tool in my self-care toolkit to process things that I don't ordinarily express in every day life. 

 

SoulCollage® Card - Happy Birthday Thomas Merton

And here's a follow-up to a post a few days ago on Thomas Merton.

 

At the blog Louie, Louie, the author reminded us that today would have been Thomas Merton’s 97^th birthday.

After Hettienne’s comment on my last post about Merton, she said she was going to be making a card for her SoulCollage® deck in the community suit. She inspired me to do the same. Check out Hettienne at Path of Divine Love, Soul Songs. 

This card is a collage of several items, but the main image of Merton was posted on Flickr at the site of Duckmarx, in memory of a late friend who struggled eight years with cancer.

This SoulCollage® card is part of my community suit in my deck. He is one of my spiritual teachers I never met, but who influenced my life so greatly. I'd kind of "put him away," but all of a sudden he is front and canter again. 

Happy birthday, Fr. Louis.

 

 

 

 

Hettienne Creates a New SoulCollage® Site

My cyber friend Hettienne, Path of Divine Love, has created a new SoulCollage® site she calls Soul Songs. She became inspired by Seena Frost's method and has signed up for consultant training in the Netherlands, I think. I wanted to share an old card of mine I call The Goddess of Dance.  

 

 

 Wikipedia says, "In Greek mythology, Terpsichore ( /tərpˈsɪkəriː/; Τερψιχόρη) "delight of dancing" was one of the nine Muses, ruling over dance and the dramatic chorus. She lends her name to the word "terpsichorean" which means "of or relating to dance". She is usually depicted sitting down, holding a lyre, accompanying the dancers' choirs with her music."

I am the one who always longed to be a dancer but because of my innate clumsiness, I never succeeded very well. I was always so self-conscious about my body and had a brain block about learning routines. I very much enjoyed social dancing over the years and a strong partner could make me look a lot better than I was. And rock and roll was pure gift because we could dance alone or in groups. And then I became divorced, finally stopped seeking love, and haven't danced in public in years. But, I am the one who does love to go inside my head and visualize myself in flowing robes, sweeping across a stage graciously. I also benefited greatly when I was younger from a method called Movement Expression.  And, in my living room, all by myself, I admit that I put on music and dance alone sometimes. 

I hope you will take the time to visit Hettienne's site. 

SoulCollage® Card - The Book Lover

 

 This past Monday our monthly SoulCollage® group met for the day and though usually a very prolific and quick-working card creator, I had a hard time coming up with one. But this is the one I made and I must admit that I really like it. The man may be a Rockwell character, but he is me! 

I am the one who became a book aficiando from the time I could first read and some very happy times were spent in the Sunland, CA library which was a really tiny place when I was a kid. The photo of my hometown library below is from the historical collection at Cal State Northridge. 

 

My mother was not a big reader personally although she read books to me all the time when I was little and my dad was a prolific reader of science books and magazines and science fiction. My four older sisters always gave me books for gifts. My favorite was "Poppy: The Story of a Fairy," which I still own today, but is now out of print. I am the one who undoubtedly was encouraged by early teachers to read although it was my mom who took me to get my first card at age six. I am the owner of way too many books; I'm the one who is obsessive about surrounding myself with books and though I use an e-reader to travel, I still crave the feel of the pages in my hand. I knew I wanted to be a writer myself and began to type short stories very young and was soon writing and editing a neighborhood newsletter. 

I did not become a librarian, but when tested in my 30s when I returned to college seriously, all indicators were that I should have been a librarian. When traveling I always seek out libraries and in earlier years I admit I often hung out there. Now I can be seen in Palos Verdes or Redondo Beach searching and checking out. I began volunteering at the used books sales at Malaga Cove Library about five years ago and for the past four years I am the one who sits on the Board of the Palos Verdes Library's Friends board and the Malaga Cove Advisory Committee. I did not become a fiction writer either, by the way, but have long been in a profession where writing plays a lion's share of my time spent. I have written a few novels, unpublished, and still write poetry, largely unpublished. 

And though I am not a professionally trained librarian, my part-time retirement job is as an archivist--and my office and collection are--you guessed it. In a school library. 

I am the one who has a large stack of books by her bedside and have always read one fiction and one non-fiction book at the same time. If my fiction stash from the library runs out, I'll admit that I get anxious.

In SoulCollage® we have learned to ask the card a question and then I usually write about that in my handwritten journal. What is it about hard copy books, about language, about words printed on a page, that has totally mesmerized me all these years? 

And how about all you book lovers. What drives you? 

Our Lady of the Poinsettias - A SoulCollage® Card

Old Redondowriter finally gave up and went to bed for the day trying to get a nasty cold under control. Fortunately, I had put this SoulCollage® in the posts for a later date. I feel too under the weather to do the exercise that goes with SoulCollage® card making, but I can say that I am the one who gazes at this card and is delighted by the mother and the child. I think I'm having a hard time letting go of the Virgin a Day meme as madonnas and babies are still occupying my reality and my unconscious. 

Rainy World - A SoulCollage® Card

Yesterday my girlfriends and I gathered for our monthly SoulCollage® day and it was very rainy driving over and all day long it rained. Just try to remember that this is sunny California. As we all sat around Mary Lou's big dining room table chatting about our lives (we have a check-in for each person as we work), I kept gazing out the window at her beautiful yard, remembering how much we need rain and how beneficial it is. But, I am one of those people who has a hard time with winter, even though winters in Southern California are mild. Though we were primarily creating cards for Christmas and what it means to us, this card practically made itself. 

 

I am the one who internally becomes chilled physically and emotionally when the weather turns cold and rainy and it gets dark really early. Much as I love Washington state where one of my sons and a sister live, I could not thrive there because of the rain and darkness for months on end. Though I have never been diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder, I assume I might be affected by the lack of light. I am the one who, as a kid, however, loved rain where I grew up in Sunland, CA. I especially loved walking home from school where leaping into puddles and floating leaf boats in the gutters was exhilarating. Now I am the one who hibernates as much as she can when it is cold and rainy, but works hard on getting out among 'em and shifting attitudes when I become too gloomy and homebound. I take comfort in recalling "Singing in the Rain" and walking home with my girlfriends Dannie and Claudia, three umbrellas across, making as much mess as we could. Then this image created itself and I took great joy in thinking about the fact that around the planet there are whole groups of folks under umbrellas and I envision a Broadway production of "Singing in the Rain" and I'm one of the dancers. 

If I could ask this card a question, it might be, "Help me to recall all my rainy day pleasant memories and record them in my journals or in my art so I can better understand why weather affects me so deeply. 

This card would be in my Committee suit under Rainy World Me or it could be a Council card helping me to see that there is Spirit there even when I am uncomfortable. By the way, I have a nasty head cold and I swear that half the people in my school have colds, pneumonia or bronchitis, too. 

Perhaps the card answered me yesterday but I just figured it out today. Driving home at 4 p.m., I saw a huge, overarching rainbow over Torrance, CA.