REDONDOWRITER'S SACRED ORDINARY

Redondowriter Remembers Jimmy Dean

Fifty years ago today, actor Jimmy Dean died in his beloved Porsche Spyder, "Little Bastard," on a rural road near the central California town of Cholame. He was just 24, (making him 74 he was still alive today) and even though he had only acted in three movies he was considered a superstar. Two of those films were released after his death, including his best-known film, Rebel Without a Cause.

This isn't the first time I’ve written about Jimmy on Sacred Ordinary and it probably won't be the last. To me he is an archetype of the vulnerable bad boy, though when I was an adolescent and loved him, I didn’t know an archetype from a lizard. I always find it fascinating, however, how an actor or entertainer, like Elvis and Jimmy, become more famous in death than they were in life. I did not remember this was the 50th anniversary of Jimmy's death, but my favorite local columnist John Bogert did with his own memories and comments about Jimmy. That started my morning.

I am not a Jimmy Dean cultist, but I distinctly remember the day my mom woke me up to tell me that Jimmy had been killed in his Porsche on his way to a race in Salinas. For some reason I have always thought I was about 15, but in actuality I was 18. On the wall over my virginal twin bed a photo of Jimmy from some movie magazine was thumbtacked. I burst into tears, called my girlfriends and we mourned one by one over the phone. I have a Jimmy SoulCollage card and periodically rewatch his films—and relived his life in the film done about him a few years back. Jimmy's death was one of my own loss of innocence milestones.

This morning NPR ran a feature on Jimmy which I was pretty amazed by. You can hear this story at the NPR link. When I had time I went to the official
James Dean website and found a live Internet memorial, which I didn't access.

I have seen a few of the memorials around L.A. where Jimmy is a figure, but this American Legends website has photos of several of them, including this one at a McDonald's in Eagle Rock. This is the town where, coincidentally, I was married at St. Dominic's in 1958--when there wasn't a McDonalds there that I recall.

And then, just like visiting the Civil War battlefields or specific places where a person or persons died, there is now a James Dean Memorial Junction.

Another tragic martyr-poet I am fascinated by is the late Sylvia Plath; I have written about her a few times here. As a 68-year-old woman, I marvel at how Jimmy lives in our memories as the martyred bad boy, forever 24 years old. When I rewatch his films and read about him, I am young again, too. That D.A., that cigarette, that attitude, that oozing of sex. He always said, "Live fast, die young and have a good looking corpse." Well, it's an oft quoted phrase but I’m glad I’ve gotten to this wrinkly, soft older age. It's just such a terrible tragedy when anyone dies young.

One Woman's Shadow Dance

"The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves." -- Dr. Carl Gustav Jung

In creating SoulCollage cards, or in most of the psycho-spiritual work I have done and am currently doing in my life, becoming aware and intimate with my emotional opposites remains my biggest challenge. Hey, I’m Ms. Nice Lady, one of the best nurturers (aka known as codependent) that you’ll know. But dancing with what the late Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called the shadow plays a key role in integrating ourselves. I have to admit that I learned to swear like a stevador at the feet of my father and though I hate myself when I do it, I can manipulate and lay a guilt trip with the best of us. Fortunately, I can almost instantly spot when someone is doing it to me. My 17-year-old grandson Anthony is taking his first psychology class in high school and comes home every day with more information, all new to him, including the shadow and I’m excited to see his excitement.

Rebecca at Shadowdance has an interesting essay on the shadow as it pertains to relationships. The shadow, which in Jungian terms is an archetype, is everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied. These are dark rejected aspects of our being as well as light, so there is positive undeveloped potential in the shadow that we don’t know about because anything that is unconscious, we don’t know about.

So, though I work with the shadow in my art and in my writing, I caught several images in my digital camera of my very own shadow at Skyote Lodge last weekend. This weekend, when I have some time, I’ll print one of my shadow images and incorporate into a card—and then into a journal entry. What is fascinating to me about this photo is that you can see the rock, sticks and other "debris" right through me laying in the duff.

For any of you who may want to see some photos of last weekend’s SoulCollage facilitators training and Skyote Lodge, go to the bottom of this site to My Photo Albums and click on SoulCollage Facilitators Training. I hope you enjoy these visual snippets of the process.

Ongoing Saga of the Leaking Deck Roof

I live in a 7 unit townhouse complex and because our builder went belly-up before completion of the units in the early 1980s, when the final developers came in, they finished what would have been another room or two on the top into flat decks covered with wood. Consequently, between flat roof problems in general and the decks hastily constructed instead of rooms, our building has been fighting leaks from day one. We’ve re-roofed the entire building twice, and most of us have replaced our wood decks at least twice. But it became obvious the remaining problems were coming from the decks, and that it was time to bite the bullet. Roofs are Homeowners Association responsibilities, but the decking was amended several years ago to be individual homeowner's responsibilities. Oy vey! Not wanting to relive the very serious interior damage from last year’s rains, we each contracted to have permanent coated decks installed by Southern California Decking, a company with a good reputation. One has to be extremely cautious in contracting roof and deck companies; there are lots of flakey ones out there.

The company got a late start and by some fluke, (I'm the only person who works regularly and though off for the summer, am back to work now) my deck is the last one in the series—and the rainy season is close--and with our whacky weather patterns, perhaps too close. Two weeks ago with part of the decking removed, I had leaks. At the moment, my townhouse’s insides are completely exposed as the workmen feverishly work to get everything demolished and rebuilt. I had no idea the stucco would be broken out to the extent it was, or the entire underbelly of the redwood deck would be down to the struts between the top and the next room. Once opened, it was clear that dry rot and termites had pretty much demolished everything, plus new scuppers need to be installed, and more complex pans and flashing are needed. As long as the walls are open, I'm going to have some electrical things replaced, too. To top it all off, this deck is four stories up, so everything has been hauled up and down by ropes and pulleys with long periods of frantic yelling in Spanish.

I’ve fallen in love with the two primary workers, Dennis and Alex, who do the majority of the manual labor and though my Spanish is iffy and so is their English, we use a form of pigeon blended language, hand signals and lots of laughter. Though dressed for construction, each man is impeccable complete with large wooden rosaries for necklaces around their necks. They go dancing on the weekends and they have even shown me some cool Salsa moves. These guys are such incredibly hard, good-natured workers and I obviously have a very soft spot in my heart for them. They even love Cookie, even though she continously barks as they go in and out the doors.

Red Mass Celebrated in Los Angeles

Though minimalist church architecture isn’t my favorite, I love the great Bronze Doors situated on the southeast side of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles, and the eight foot statue of Our Lady of Los Angeles above. They were designed by the Mexican born, Los Angeles sculptor, Robert Graham, who coincidentally is married to actress Anjelica Huston. Nearly five years in the making, they were built by some 150 artists. The ornamental space above the pair of bronze doors contains the 8 foot image of Our Lady of the Angels.

The modern figure is presented as a woman "clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet" (Revelations 12:1). The halo shaft above her head shines God's light on her as the sun travels from east to west. Mary does not wear the traditional veil. Her arms are bare, outstretched to welcome all. Her carriage is confident, and her hands are strong, the hands of a working woman. From the side can be seen a thick braid of hair down her back that summons thoughts of Native American or Latina women. Other characteristics, such as her eyes, lips and nose convey Asian, African and Caucasian features. Without the conventional regal trappings of jewels, crown or layers of clothing, she has a dignity that shines from within.

Do you sometimes long for the ritual and symbolism of what we used to call "High Church?" You would have loved the 23rd Annual Red Mass, a Mass celebrating the legal community, at Los Angeles’s Roman Catholic Cathedral of our Lady of the Angels today. I have coordinated this event and the reception following for 22 of its 23 years. It is a spectacular pomp and circumstance liturgy and if you ever get an opportunity to attend a Red Mass in your cities around the world, I recommend going. It will take your breath away. Many cities also celebrate the White Mass honoring those in the medical profession.

The solemn votive Red Mass in honor of the Holy Spirit, is celebrated annually at the opening of the judicial year. Judges and lawyers attend in a body, joined by public officials, diplomats, and those working in the field of law. The custom originated in Europe in the 13th century. From the time of Edward I, the Mass was offered at Westminster Abbey at the opening of the Michaelmas term. It received its name from the fact that the celebrant was vested in red and the Lord High justices were robed in brilliant scarlet.

Fr. Greg Boyle, S.J., of Delores Mission, and the founder and Executive Director of Homeboy Industries, offered the simple, warm, revealing homily based upon the readings of the day with stories of the men and women who work in the five companies within Homeboy. The object is to get the gang members off the street, help reshape them, and provide gainful employment.

If you woud like to hear an NPR interview with Fr. Greg about his work at Homeboy, go to this link at NPR.

I just finished reading Isabel Allende’s new book, "Zorro," and it is largely set in the mission era when the village was called El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora, Reina de los Angeles. Later it was shortened to El Pueblo de Los Angeles. Part of "Zorro" was also set at San Gabriel Mission. It was particularly meaningful to me today in the hours prepping for the Red Mass, and later attending Mass and the reception attended by more than 1,000 people, to see the Great Mother of Los Angeles stretching out her arms over the city literally and figuratively. I often put her image into my collage work. She brings me great comfort.

The Power of I Am One Who

This is SoulCollage's "mother" Seena Frost looking at a facilitator-to-be's card during an exercise on laying out the SoulCollage™cards.

I learned something this weekend I didn't know: Seena Frost's trademarked method is SoulCollage™, all one word. Apparently someone else, with a different method they are calling Soul Collage, two words, is causing some confusion. Seena's book, just in case you are ordering one is called SoulCollage™: An Intuitive Collage Process for Individuals and Groups." The book's cover says, "Create a personal deck of soul-tending cards. Each card a mirror of self and soul." I've gotten enough e-mails that I don't want to confuse anyone.

One of the unique exercises in Seena's method is what she calls the "I Am One Who." The book says that Jung taught that we are all immersed in the cosmic unconscious and through it we know far more than we could know as separate, local individuals. We know more than our reasonable, logical minds tell us because we are connected at a soul level to the wisdom of the universe. Seena says, "In short, we have inner teachers on several levels if we take time to consult them." Seena calls these teachers Neters, an Egyptian word she first heard from Jean Houston.

The power within using the cards is this "I Am The One Who" phrase.

Synopsized, a person first of all tears their images from old magazines, books, photographs--or whatever medium they choose, and then they finely cut, not the rip and tear of other collage processes that I use. The next part is pasting the images down. Then the card becomes the entry for many people to begin speaking about themselves, often in ways they don't in journals or with therapists, counselors or even friends. It particularly appeals to me because it is yet another way to tell our stories, to tell ourselves.

Next you personify the image by looking at it and then beginning to say, over and over, "I am the one who." You slip into the image or images and speak from within the image in the first person. It feels strange at first to become a person or even an object you aren't. But, you continue practicing this alone at first as you are teaching yourself the method--but hopefully with another person or persons over time.

Some people are extremely verbal naturally, but those who tend to be non-verbal seem to find that chosen images can unleash words in an amazing way.

This is someone showing her card which matches her close-cropped hair. She had told me earlier, when I told her I thought her haircut was cute, that she was outwardly showing support for a close girlfriend who is undergoing treatment for breast cancer, has lost her hair, and is discouraged. This card personified her friend and some of the symbols surrounding her. This card-maker's "I am the one" phrases mirrored the fear, the confusion, the anger--and the love she is feeling.

As for me personally, I will share the card I made on the weekend later in the week and tell you my "I am the one who" phrases that I used to describe the me inside my card. Tonight I have a journal group I am leading and I'll share a few of my cards as these people will probably be the first ones that I teach how to make and use their own SoulCollage™ cards.

Thanks for your wonderful response to the method and like Seena says, "Let's pass it on."

Labyrinth of Soul Collage Cards

To say that I've had one of Maslow's Peak Experiences this past three days would be an understatement. I've been in the Santa Cruz Mountains with 27 other Soul Collagers for facilitator training. Finding words to describe the experience when I'm this fatigued isn't fair, but I'll post more later.

This photo was the final ritual of the weekend--the blessing of the cards, done in labryrinth fashion. To walk among these mini works of art and to bow deeply to their creators was very moving.

Though I have been using the process for two years and have made about 80 cards so far, during this three day weekend I learned so much working with its "Mother" Seena Frost and her assistants, and with participants from across the nation--and even Australia. Surprisingly, I made only one card; I was so engaged in watching others work--and actually working with my own cards, which I hadn't done in depth before. At today's "graduation" where we received our certificates, we swelled the rank of facilitators to 190 around the world. For Seena, this isn't about entrepreneurship--it's about passing this on to help others enrich their lives.

I return tonight utterly exhausted--it's an intense training and it is extremely rare for me to do these kinds of weekends anymore. I haughtily say when people invite me to the realm of psychospirituality weekends, "Been there, done that." Well, I've been there and now done this and for anyone who enjoys delving deeper into themselves, I can't recommend this process enough. It's worth the stretch.

One of the handouts in their excellent facilitators packet was one on self-care after workshops. I wish I had known more about that 30 years ago, though I have "gotten it" on my own over the years. You stretch yourself for intensely, sit for long periods, sleep uneasily when you do sleep, you have to fight airports and/or long car trips coming and going, and you're on a natural high. Highs mean later lows when "real life" encroaches. I deeply appreciatebeing reminded of this-and I'm off to my flannel nightie, book and bed and will tell you more later about what it was like.

But tonight I hope to have dreams of Soul Collage cards and their "mothers" dancing in my dreams.

The Muse Addresses Earrings

Haiku on Earrings
Earrings and doorknobs
burrow in my soul’s dream cache,
transform me, love me.

Pablo Neruda said a poem can be written about anything and this photo I took at a fund-raising benefit last May has continue to intrigue me. On the spur of the moment this haiku popped out, but something else is brewing.

What would your haiku be after sitting with this photo for a while?

Top 10 of Everything

Being a late in life archivist, I find the last 1 1/12 years of my life serving as my school’s part-time historian one of the more creative things I have done in my life. One of the wonders certainly is that I have a large work and display room inside the library, which as far as I’m concerned is akin to being in heaven while still alive. It also helps that my hours are three days a week—10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and that I have breathtaking views of the Long Beach harbor and the city of Los Angeles. I'm also out of the political loop these days and am not constantly hypervigilant about pleasing everybody. It energizes my soul to hear all those kids and teachers out there doing their library projects, watching them, and later in the afternoon observing them working quietly alone, in study groups, or on the computer.

Laying out on the table when I came in this morning was a book that leaped out at me which happens all the time in this little piece of heaven. It was Russell Ash’s Top 10 of Everything 2005.

The jacket says that this book is brimming with facts on an amazing range of subjects - from the worlds of media, sports, and business to the animal kingdom and the World Wide Web. The Top 10 of Everything 2005 is the essential illustrated reference guide for trivia fans of all ages and walks of life. Completely revised with hundreds of new lists on the latest information and cutting edge trends.

It also says, "Russell Ash is the uncontested king of lists. He began his career in publishing in 1967, and then established his own publishing company in 1973. His books include Incredible Comparisons, The World in One Day, and Factastic Millennium Facts."

With Hurricane Rita bearing down on the Gulf, I immediately turned to natural and manmade disasters. The media has been touting hurricane statistics for weeks, but I let my curious self look at the worst volcanic eruptions, hurricanes to strike the U.S., deadliest types of disasters, worst earthquakes and floods. It just reaffirms that old saw, "Don’t mess with Mother Nature." (And makes me think of my Texas friends who say "Don't mess with Texas." Are you listening, Mother Nature?) In the meantime, I’m in the Bay area right now with access to TV only in the late evenings when I go to my hotel room. But my heart is beating fast on behalf of all the people and structures that could be affected. Hopefully the hurricane will veer off and spend itself in the middle of nowhere.

Life Through the Lens of a Camera

This is Washington Post photographer Ricky Carioti's picture of Dwanda Tyler.

When you think of famous photos over time that are implanted in your mind, what are those? What did they evoke when you first saw them, and why do they stick in your mind today?

Yes, it’s true that a picture is worth a thousand words, and on today’s version of Day to Day on NPR, Noah Adams interviews Washington Post photographer Rick Carioti about this photo of a young NOLA black woman named Dwanda Tyler and it is believed that it will be one of the great journalistic front-page photos of our time. It breaks all the rules of photojournalism, but I agree the photo embodies the untold suffering of Hurricane Katrina.

As the NPR site says, "A young black woman named Dwanda Tyler was part of a crew cleaning the streets of New Orleans after the storm and flood. She wears a blue shirt, with a kerchief covering her hair and a protective mask pushed up on her forehead. She gazes directly into the lens of the camera, and directly at photographer Ricky Carioti -- and the look on her face reflects a number of emotions." Commentator Noah Adams talks to Rick Carioti and you can listen to it at this NPR link, if you are interested in hearing the interview. Read on.

Sandra Tsing Loh Lightens Up L.A.

Writer, local performance artist, comedian and commentator Sandra Tsing Loh was fired from NPR's KCRW several months for allegedly using the F word--and my favorite local NPR station KPCC picked her up. Thank heavens. Sandra, is pretty irreverent all in all, but instead of putting the pre-recording sound engineer on the carpet for not editing out the word, she got the sack. KCRW’s loss is KPCC’s gain. Sandra is one heck of a funny, hyper and down-to-earth woman. A Chinese-American woman raised locally, she takes on all the seamy and spinny parts of L.A. and reframes them in her comic-cynic POV. She was a speaker in our school's author series two years ago and she brought the house down--kids, parents and faculty. I could see myself having a beer with her over at Freddie's Black Whale Tavern (featuring "Who in the Heck is Peter Fernandez" portrait), Killians or the Bull Pen. A mother with young children herself, she spoofed the myth of motherhood--and her language was totally appropriate to her audience.

Sandra's "The Loh Life™" is her weekly take on life in early 21st century southern California. You can hear it every Thursday at 7:07 am and on Talk of the City at 2:55 pm on KPPC. Her books include: Depth Takes A Holiday: Essays From Lesser Los Angeles, A Year in Van Nuys, Aliens In America, and the novel, If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home By Now. I just heard that she will be appearing in a one-woman show soon at Royce Hall.

If you are ready to laugh until you wet your pants, you can hear a selection of her commentaries on KPPC's website.